


those three words don't feel like they're enough

by zalddow



Category: BTOB
Genre: M/M, all members are mentioned, idk what to tag, not proofreaded because it's just a trial, pls forgive me this sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 02:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10427487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zalddow/pseuds/zalddow
Summary: In the time that they’ve been together, they’ve never actually told each other that they love them. Sure, they go out on dates at least twice every week, they slept in the same bed every night, they were always, always touching one way or another, but those three words never actually slipped from their mouths before.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing a fic and i'm really sorry if the characterizations are wrong? i'm a new melody and i'm still unsure of how i will incorporate their personalities into my writing. but anw this is just something that came to my mind and it's pretty rushed since i wrote this while i was bored. hopefully someone likes it :)

The first time it happened was when Sungjae slept in.

Sungjae doesn’t usually sleep through his alarm, almost always waking up before it. Today, he woke up to Ilhoon shaking his shoulder, saying that they have to leave in an hour.

He groggily went to the kitchen to prepare his coffee, inhaling the fumes to try and wake himself up.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist, and lips were pressed on his shoulder. “Good morning, love.”

Sungjae stiffened, and turned his head to see Changsub lazily smiling at him. “Morning, hyung.” He handed Changsub his coffee. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Changsub smiled at him softly and took a sip. “You’re the best.”

Sungjae blushed as he took a sip of his own, trying to ignore what Changsub said before.

In the time that they’ve been together, they’ve never actually told each other that they love them. Sure, they go out on dates at least twice every week, they slept in the same bed every night, they were always, always touching one way or another, but those three words never actually slipped from their mouths before.

They never confessed, they just bickered and pushed each others buttons until they realized that they were only arguing because they didn’t know how to express their need for each others attention, and that was that. The next day, nothing changed except for the need for their hands to always be clasped and stolen kisses every now and then.

It’s not because they don’t love each other, because they do. Sungjae wants to tell Changsub everyday and every time he always finds his throat closing up. He’s never been good with words and every time Changsub smiles at him he somehow forgets to speak altogether.

 

–

The second time it happens, they were eating.

Everyone was gathered around their dining table, they were sitting so close together that Sungjae’s elbow keeps bumping with Minhyuk’s every time he moves and his knees are completely pressed to Changsub’s.

He was about to grab the last piece of pork when Eunkwang beat him to it. Sungjae didn’t really mind, he already ate a lot anyway.

“Here, love.” Changsub placed a huge piece of pork on his rice.

Sungjae blushed and looked at Changsub, who was shoving more rice in his mouth. “You don’t want it?”

“It’s fine.” Changsub smiled at him and grabbed some vegetables.

Sungjae felt his heart swelling as he stared at the pork and tried to figure out why this is so easy for Changsub.

–

The third time it happened was at a fansign event.

The fans knew about their relationship and they were very supportive about it, so Changsub’s constant need for physical contact is always on display.

They were sitting next to each other with their legs touching underneath the table. Every now and then Changsub would touch Sungjae’s hand or rub Sungjae’s neck or on the odd occasion, give him a small kiss on the cheek.

Sungjae smiled at the fan in front of him as he gave them their poster after signing it. He was just about to get the next poster when Changsub stopped and looked at him.

“She wants to take a picture of us.” Changsub whispered, rubbing Sungjae’s knee. “The staff are okay with it but I want to know if you are, I know you’re pretty beat.”

Sungjae nodded. “It’s fine, hyung. I’m not that tired yet, and anyway it’s for the fans.”

Changsub squeezed his knee and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close, smiling widely at the camera. “Smile, love.”

Sungjae blushed and leaned his head on Changsub’s shoulder, smiling at the camera in front of him.

He could hear the squeals everywhere, the wolf whistles from Eunkwang and Minhyuk, and the roars from Ilhoon, Hyunsik and Peniel.

Still, nothing was louder than his own heart beating wildly in his chest.

–

“You don’t understand, he says it like it’s my name!”

Ilhoon took a sip of coffee. “And that’s a bad thing because?”

“I- We’ve never said it to each other before! I mean, I haven’t. There wasn’t really a need, you know? I was planning to tell him but I always end up getting flustered. Now he goes around saying it so easily and I just-”

“Got even more flustered?” Ilhoon smirked. “Look, Sungjae, there’s nothing wrong with not saying it just yet, okay?”

Sungjae ran his hands through his hair. “Have you said it to Hyunsik-hyung?”

“Yeah.” Ilhoon smiled at him, and Sungjae felt better than he did in a while. Ilhoon always manages to calm him down. “But me and hyung are different. I’m pretty sure Changsub-hyung isn’t telling you he loves you to hear you say it back, he’s telling you he loves you because he does.”

“I really wanna tell him, hyung.” Sungjae slumped on his chair, ran his hands over his face. “I just never-”

“Loved someone before?” Ilhoon looked at him knowingly, and Sungjae should’ve known. Ilhoon knows him better than he knows himself. “Hey, it’s fine, okay. Take your time. Changsub-hyung waited for you before, didn’t he?”

But Sungjae didn’t want to make Changsub wait anymore. Changsub waited for him for months, and as much as he knows Changsub will wait for him for as long as Sungjae needs him to, he doesn’t want to make him wait.

He wants Changsub to know that he was his first real crush, first hand that held his with such emotion, first smile first thing in the morning, first kiss, first everything. He wants Changsub to know that he means so much to him, and that he’s thankful for what they have and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

–

“Sungjae-ya.” Changsub whispered when he felt Sungjae’s hands run through his hair. “Come to bed, I miss you.”

Sungjae had some filming to do today and was out all day. He only got to see Changsub when he was about to leave and Changsub was just starting to wake up.

Sungjae smiled and went into Changsub’s waiting arms, not even bothering to wash up. It can wait. “Okay.”

Changsub pressed a kiss on Sungjae’s neck, and squeezed his arms tighter. “You must be tired, do you want some tea? It’ll help you relax.”

“It’s fine.” Sungjae turned around and wrapped his arms around Changsub, letting a smile appear on his face.

Times like these were Sungjae’s favorite moments. When Changsub is full of sleep and smiling at him, when he’s in Changsub’s arms and feeling like he’s home.

“Hyung?”

Changsub looked at him with his tired eyes, he looked like he was about to fall asleep any moment but his eyes were filled with so much warmth. “Yeah?”

Sungjae felt his heart hammering in his chest, his head was spinning and he felt like he was going to lose consciousness.

But he knew Changsub would be there to help him.

“I love you.”

Sungjae knew that it was roughly 2 in the morning, the sun was nowhere to be found and all the light switches were off.

But when Changsub smiled at him, full of promises and happiness, he felt like he was being blinded by brightness. “I know, I love you too.”

Sungjae put his face on Changsub’s shoulder, inhaling the scent of his shower gel and shampoo, smiling into Changsub’s skin.

He knows three simple words will never be able to convey what he actually feels about Changsub but somehow, he knows Changsub understood what he wanted to say.

**Author's Note:**

> how was it? was it awful? too cringey? i feel like there's a lot of mistakes lol please feel free to tell me how was it was so i can improve. we really need more writers here and i wanna be one of them, so if you could help me that'd be swell ♡


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